THE FAMILY ALBUM Page Four "An Astonishing Memo"
TO: Interstellar Cooperative Command
FROM: Spirit Team working through Analee
DATE: Date? What's that? Oh, yes -- something to do with Time, right? We'll get an expert in to explain Time to us &
get back to you synchronistically
RE: REASONS GIVEN BY HUMAN BEINGS FOR OPTING OUT OF THE DIVINE ECSTASIES OF LOVE
I CAN'T LOVE YOU BECAUSE...
...you have:
- more money than I do
- less money than I do
- skin a few shades darker than my own
- skin a few shades lighter than my own
- the same job I do
- a different job than I do
...you:
- attend to my physical health
- attend to my mental health
- attend to my spiritual health
- assist me in legal matters
- teach me in any field of endeavor
- are a client of mine in any of the above five life-areas
- supervise me at work
- are subordinate to me at work
- work beside me as an equal
- don't seem to know people who could further my financial wellbeing
- do seem to know and respond to all sorts of people equally including those I've been taught to despise
- used to go out with someone I know
- already love one other person
...you are:
- of the same sex as my own
- of ambiguous sexual inheritance
- of ambiguous sexual persuasion
- a friend
- an enemy
- a stranger
- related to me by blood (even if no children are planned)
- unrelated by blood to any family I am permitted by my own eventually to marry
...I met you:
- at a bar
- while I was in someone else's company
- while you were in someone else's company
- at your place of employment
- at my place of employment
- at a place of mutual employment
- through the internet
...you live:
- too near me
- too far away from me
- on the other side of a railroad track from my home
- in a country which will not admit me
- in a country from which those who wish to come to mine are not permitted to do so
...you go:
- to a different church than I do
- to a different school than I can attend
- to shopping places which would first freeze me out & then (if I didn't take the hint) throw me out
- to places of entertainment which will not admit me
- to places of entertainment which will admit me but in which I of course would not be caught dead
- to places of entertainment in which I most probably would be caught dead
- to places of entertainment which, however much I might enjoy them, would end my career were it generally
understood that I'd been frequenting their environs much less their premeses
...you use:
- the wrong (note: virtually any product employed in day-to-day human life qualifies for this part of the list so
we have abbreviated it to this single entry so noting)
- words I've been taught are less good to say than others
- words I don't understand yet and have been taught to be more humiliated by than curious about
...I:
- am unwilling to forgo financial benefits in order to move to be near you
- am unwilling to forgo financial benefits in order to get away from my current 'love'
- cannot handle the social embarrassment of (please refer to every entry both above and below this one)
- think someone else can do my financial bottom line more good than you can
- am even more afraid of you than the 'love' I am with
- am not as afraid of you as of the 'love' I am with
...my:
- family doesn't like you
- jealous same-sex friends have advised me not to
- social set disapproves of you due to (reasons again so numerous we cannot list them singly)
...you might:
- decide to have a moment of fun without me being right there beside you every damn second of it
- due to above, have something to talk about when you get home
- grow to feel it's unhealthy to love only one creature on a whole planet and decide to open your heart a
little (this would shatter me)
- grow at all in any direction not already being taken by both of us at the time of official marriage vows
- grow "too" far or fast in directions already being taken by us both at the time of official marriage vows
PLEASE NOTE: Although by the Cooperative Command's concept of any list of this nature it is indeed very lengthy, this constitutes only a summary of the actual, full list since in all of its particulars it turned out to constitute several hundred megabytes of space. References to full document are available upon (due to the unsavory nature of its contents, unlikely) request.
