Rediscover What Already IS And Has BEEN

It's not about going out and learning more but rather rediscovering what already IS and has BEEN

This post is one in which I wrote awhile ago. I haven't posted it until now because it's very personal. I've come to the conclusion recently that my thoughts are all that I have and I shouldn't be ashamed of them no matter what they are. So here it is!

I knew there was a reason behind all of the research I've been doing. I've come to the realization as to why I hate school so much.

The reason why I hate school so much is because I've been looking at it with the wrong set of eyes. I've been constantly trying to figure out who I am by externalizing everything from prosthetics to meteorology to engineering and then even conspiracy theories. All to often people try to be somebody by getting a good education or by doing something prestigious but the point I'm trying to make here is that you don't have to do anything to be somebody.

I've been viewing school as something which is trying to change who I am. Almost like it's trying to turn me into an engineer or turn me into a math mathematician or make me someone who's good at solving problems. This is why I haven't liked school is because it tells me what's right and what's wrong. I feel like it's trying to change who I am and turn me into something new, something that I've been trying to resist this whole time. Almost like it's trying to take me off the path I'm on and place me on a different one.

It's not about going out and learning more but rather rediscovering what already IS and has BEEN. It's not about seeking new equations to apply to everyday life but instead rediscovering the equations which already exist in your heart and expressing these equations through the use of emotion. You will never find the truth through research because research and information are closely tied to society and society is a constantly changing environment. The only truth you will ever find is that which resides inside of everyone on an individual basis. It's not about deriving new equations and building a mars rover to explore other planets but rather to explore and rediscover what already IS and has BEEN here on earth for millions of years.

What I'm getting at here is I've always been seeking something when the thing I'm seeking is that which is no where to be found outside of myself. By using the equations which have been provided to me and inscribed in my DNA I am able to be somebody all the time simply by expressing myself in everything I do no matter what that may be. I knew there was a reason why I have done all of this "weird" research as society would have you believe. It's because the truth doesn't exist, one day a food group causes cancer and the next day it doesn't. One day solar radiation is perfectly fine and the next day it can be deadly. One day landing on the moon is a crazy thought and the next day it's self evident.

All too often I've tried to acquire more, more knowledge, more equations, more conspiracy theories, more more more. However, I've come to realize the point of all this. It has taught me that no book, no internet site, no picture nor equation will ever be able to tell me who I am. You cannot learn who you are by externalizing everything which is what everyone in this society tries to do. Everyone tries to experience more so that they can be somebody but the reality is that they already are somebody and all they need to do is express that somebody in whatever it is they do. It doesn't matter whether you are a NASA scientist or a school teacher or even a meijer employee. All of these jobs require interaction and opportunities to express yourself from within. Experiences are provided to us so that we can practice expressing ourselves in whatever form it comes to us in.

This is one of the main reasons why people worry about someone. Sure they worry about them because they deeply care about them and they don't want them to get hurt. But most of the time you have no control over what that person chooses to do. Everyone is on their own separate journey and the reason why someone worries about another individual is because they are trying to drive their car onto a path in which a boat is required. What I'm trying to say is it's impossible to put yourself on someone else's journey no matter how hard you try. You see the person driving their boat at full speed and you're in a car trying as hard as you can to get in the water to stop the boat. It's not going to work. What you need to do in a situation like this is to internalize your love for the person on the boat. Go back to your car and get back onto the highway and get back on your journey. Look inside of yourself and realize the only truth in the world is that which each person chooses to experience. I might have chosen to experience the ocean whereas you chose to experience the highway. It matters not for all that matters is how you choose to go about your journey. Do you internalize your journey or do you externalize it? It's each person's separate journey and it's up to each person to decide what to do with it.

These same principals can be applied to virtually anyone. Middle aged men and women think they haven't accomplished enough with their lives when the truth of the matter is that they couldn't have possibly gone wrong with their lives. There is no right or wrong because it's all just an experience that each person has chosen to partake on.

So all of this school work I've been doing can be solved by internalizing everything I already have. I don't need to derive any new equation but rather apply the equations which I have already derived. What I mean by this is that I can express myself in the study groups I form, with the professors I talk to and with the friends I make. I can materialize this expression through the use of solar powered dehumidifiers and/or smart materials.

The point I'm trying to make out of all this is that in everything you do, anyone, anywhere, can be somebody simply by expressing their innermost self through materialization (building, forming, developing) and interaction (appreciation, compassion, forgiveness, humility, understanding, valor)
 and by rediscovering what IS and always has BEEN.