THE FAMILY ALBUM Page Three "The Name of the Beast"

i am tired of being afraid
let all the gods that ever have been
in the misty annals of the human race
be witness to this cry: i am
tired of being afraid...

my swedish friend comes to visit
goes camping
someone is raped
somewhere on the same mountain that night
she is aghast: how can you live
in a place where such things happen?

i look at her strangely
until i remember
murder of ones own kind is an unnatural thing
we who are used to the sight of it repeated
over and over in the name of
entertainment
forget that so easily

and so now
an invisible rapist
lurks outside my kitchen window after dark
you must want me here, his image says
or you'd close the curtain...

if i closed the curtain i'd be denied
the one glimpse of night sky
one whiff of fresh damp breeze
i'm allowed! i reply
take a break from the dishes
put a banana to my lips
the rapist smirks
lift a heavy cast iron pot
i'll give you something to struggle about
he snarls, and make you love it too
soon as i make sure
you and your daughter really are
all alone in that apartment...

o womanhood, confined
through the centuries in
moon houses harems inner courtyards
veiled in heavy draperies
unable to show even the light of your face without
fear
o feeble aged at the whim
of harassed and harried offspring
grown now -- so strange
so unwelcoming so un
listening
o children! delicate, beautiful
as none of us will be ever again in this life
sensitive, vulnerable
like prisoners, gazing out backs
of the best-intentioned
family vehicles with wistful
woebegone expressions i
myself remember so well...

what is out there?
why does all creation seem immersed
exciting and tantalizing as it is
in a vague bath of melancholia?
what makes my heart ache, your
hearts ache, children
to look upon it?

is it fear?

fear of the employer
fear of the wrong racial affiliation
fear of the other religion
the new hairstyle, the new dance the new
music the new...

fear of the one who is bigger than you are
fear of the one who is smarter than you i
am tired of being afraid
of the disapproval in the eyes of my fellow human being
if i wear the wrong dress
say the wrong word
practice the wrong ritual
hang with the wrong friends
drive the wrong car
drink the wrong beer
use the wrong toothpaste!

o downtrodden multitudes, shouldering the labors
of any dominating culture!
o pacifists of every stripe and affiliation
who have gone willingly under the whip
rather than wield it yourselves!
o impassioned youth, still full of the fire of life
caught in the rigor of social expectation!
o veteran truthsayers, casual
in basement garrets and rags
facing the machine, any machine
with your brave words, sure of the probability
of your ultimate end in the torture chambers of that machine!
o all that is meek, small, different, delicate
beautiful, fragile, misunderstood by all but a few!
o precious and ephemeral!
it is for you and for myself that i cry out
i am tired of being afraid!

so

join with me
now you and
i and all these others
we will banish fear together

how?

my friend, we will
laugh at it!
laugh in its face!
come on, you fear
my hand is quicker than yours
my eye steadier
i am not clouded by inner separation
let's see who'll survive
come on, stare at me!
scoff all you like!
are you learning anything?
is your mind expanded by my outfit? my words?
wouldn't you like to dare put something on
say something well
maybe not just like them but
haven't they given you a
few ideas?...

think i'm outrageous?
so are you, you just
haven't admitted it in public yet

think about it
you know it's true

then after we have finished laughing
point to it and say loudly
hey everybody, guess what?
this over here has been trying to make me
afraid, can you beat that?
they'll gather round
oh, i've never really been scared of that
someone will say
really, you'll ask
why not?
and like as not they'll tell you and
then like as not you'll tell them
why you're not scared of something else and
while we all
hangin' together feelin' good about each other
anything come around messin' for trouble
ain' got a chance

see?

only catch is
we all got to do it together
at the same time
or those of us up first an'
out on that limb jus' get
left in the cold

ready?...